My new life.

SO...The exciting news is I survived week 1 of clinical anatomy. I can say without a doubt this is the most diffcult, in depth, detailed class I've been in. Let's just say that the professors (who are all Physician Assistants, PhD, etc) definately don't dumb things down a bit. So everyday I come home totally 100% fried. I could definately say my first meltdown was yesterday. It's been a huge adjustment to not just be able to socialize when I feel like and manage to get good grades.

I guess I do well with it, until I see or hear what everyone else is doing...having a typical summer... playing at the lake, eating sno cones, watching movies, relaxing. And I think of my time....reading, studying, school, work, more studying, and maybe a quick call to say hi to my boyfriend.

I'm sure I sound like I'm complaining and maybe I am...but only that it is a huge adjustment from seeing my boyfriend everyday and being able to work and then relax. I don't regret choosing this path in the least. It's just going to take some accepting that right now I don't have time for anything other than school. I miss friends, my boyfriend, and being carefree.

On a totally different note, I am more than excited about where this program will take me. It is intense and I have had no doubts that I am going to feel so proud and rewarded by the end of it. So if I fall off the face of the Earth for 2 years, forgive me. In the past I probably would have blown off school to play with friends, or attend whatever social hoorah was going on. But now, being old and wise (haha), I have a focus for what I have to do to get where I want to be. I just hope that some of you are still around when I will be so "out of the loop" which I'm already feeling.

I am so thankful that my boyfriend deals much better with this and has a very clear perspective on it all. After having a meltdown, he made it very clear that there is no need to feel upset about not seeing him as much as I'd like or anyone outside of school for that matter. Because while I won't get to see anyone very much for the next couple years, after that I will be set. I feel very confident that this program will put me in a great place career-wise. And it having no life and working 7hours (that's seriously how little time I have free of school/studying) a week at target is what I have to do to get there, then that's what I need to focus on.

I'm not even sure that this post is really for anyone but myself. I guess I just wanted to apologize for my absense in so many friends lives. I am so wound up in mine that I can't just get together with everyone everytime I feel like. This is definately my selfish time in life, mainly because I don't want to screw any of this up for myself. I've worked too hard to get distracted now. This is my future, and it's very important to me that I'm successful in it.

As obvious by this post, I have had so much spinning in my head/emotions this past week. I just want everyone who reads this to know that I love and care about them as I always have.


take care everyone and stay in touch. love.