jenny who?

so...this probably will not be the most positive post...but i need a short escape/venting session...yet at the same time i'm in a bad mood so i feel like hibernating...because that's what i do when i'm unhappy. no pity is wanted just need to complain.

just when i think i'm getting somewhere and learning a bunch...we have a little question sesssion...after hearing things such as "preganglionic parasympathetic axons are located in the IML from yada yada yada..." and all i can think is oh shit. i know i'm not alone...but every few days, after working really hard and feeling good about it i wind up back at this stupid hopeless feeling. That if i could function without sleep, there is still not enough time or energy to learn all of this well enough. SO you give it your best and call it a day. Regardless of how well things go, as long as I continue to give my best there should be no worries or regrets.....also, this is easier said than done.

secondly, i feel disconnected from the world...which is understandable because i spend 5 days a week at school with people like me and cadavers. i spend the other two studying, taking quizzes and maybe trying to see allen for a couple hours. i don't remember what it's like to be carefree, or to think "what do i feel like doing"

third....spending every ounce of my being doing all the things i have to do has left me feeling like i don't even remember who i am. this may sound dramatic but it hits me the most when i hear of "normal" (haha yes i'm crazy) people who have a life, who take vacations, who enjoy their hobbies, who live with spontaniety, who kick back and relax.

fourth......stop and go traffic every day during rush hour. 5 days a week. stupid drivers. they're everywhere.

fifth...what the hell is splancnic nerve?

seventh.... whether monday is good or bad....beer will be consumed after.

eighth....i know nothing is really that bad. i just currently have no time for anything outside of school and work, which causes a lot of bad emotional side effects.

august 14th = first finish line.

and on a brighter note, al and i have been together 10 months today.