Saturday, December 25, 2010

where do i go from here?

So it's Christmas...and I'd be lying if I said things were ideal. I managed to get so stressed out by the uncertainty of my relationship that I got shingles, like painful chickenpox for old people. I am now educated about shingles and don't wish them upon anyone. Painful stuff. and now...for the raw honesty part.

Allen and I mutually decided we should break up. After years of friendship and some dating and over 2 years together. Things have been confusing for some time and I know that we both feel this is the right decision. We both still deeply care for one another and have learned an immense amount. I am obviously heartbroken. It hurts a lot. Anyway, we shall see what the future holds. There was just too much uncertainty for both of us that had developed. I always said knowing is better than wondering. God I hope so. I feel like I bounce between feeling numb about it all and feeling hysterical. I have now found a use for this blog...while this post is not positive and looking toward the future, that is what I will need to use this to focus my thoughts on.

As for right now, just need to make it through the holidays. And try to function in public. This post sounds so miserable but I just need to vent because when I'm around people I do not want to think or talk about it, because that's when I'm fine

I hope all of you are enjoying the holidays.

1 comment:

Alyssa said...

Hey Jenny...I know we haven't been as close as we used to and you're obviously going through a hard time right now, I just wanted you to know I'm always here for you if you need anything. Hope things start looking up for you soon!